This work is a record of a play with Misaki Otsuka (pseudonym), an amateur M woman who volunteered for training in the editorial department of an SM magazine that is constantly recruiting models. From a young age, Misaki was the kind of girl who felt a sweet heartbreak at the terrible treatment and cruel expressions in anime and manga. As I grow up, I have an M propensity...... I was spending days in agony. I had my first lover in college, but the more I was aware of my M propensity, the farther away I was from my normal lover. In her third year of college, she decided to sign up for SM dating, experienced SM for the first time in her life, and found joy and fulfillment in the pain and suffering. "I ...... want you to beat me more with the whip," I was too embarrassed to say it at the time. With the start of the teacher's exam, I was so busy that I lost contact with the man, and I wanted to be tied up, and I said, "I'm going to be a teacher. Become a priest. She was dominated by the feeling of admonition that it would not be allowed to act in a way that would fulfill abnormal desires ......." She sealed her M desires and allowed herself to masturbate only by imagining herself being tied up and whipped by a strange man. The reason why I applied for SM model was the death of my grandmother. People will die at some point. Don't keep your wishes and desires sealed...... That's how it sparked in her. I want to experience it in depth. I want to know how much I can endure and how good I feel at that time...... If you continue to get older, even the lines of your body will crumble. I want to keep a picture before that happens. I want to see myself immersed in pain and pleasure. And I want people with similar tendencies to know who they ....... With that in mind, she contacted the editorial department of SM magazine and asked, "Would you like to take a picture of my SM?" I would be happy if I could share with you the adorable figure of a masochist woman trembling with joy in the pain of being in love since she was a child.